Or: "Karen Questions We're Tired of Answering"
A: Because it's better than the $2 brick you buy at Walmart, Karen. We use actual ingredients, not whatever chemical cocktail they're passing off as "moisturizing." You spend more on your daily coffee habit. Buy the soap.
A: No, but at least you'll smell less tragic while you figure it out. Personal hygiene is step one of getting your act together. We're just here to help with that part. Buy the soap.
A: It's soap, not a smoothie bowl, Patricia. Yes, we use natural ingredients because we're not monsters. Check the ingredient list on each product page instead of making us repeat ourselves. Buy the soap.
A: You want to try before you buy? How very commitment-phobic of you. All sales are final. Think of it as a commitment exercise. Take the plunge, Susan. Buy the soap.
A: 3-7 business days, same as every other online store in existence. We're not Amazon Prime, and honestly, waiting builds character. Use this time to reflect on your life choices. Buy the soap.
A: No returns, no refunds. It's soap. Hate it? Wash your shoes with it or mail it to your ex. All sales are final because we're not your therapist - we're just here to make you smell better. Buy the soap.
A: Yes, and it's working, isn't it? You're still here reading this instead of buying soap. Our attitude is part of our brand, just like your indecision is part of yours. Buy the soap.
Stop overthinking and start soap-ing. Most of your questions will be answered by actually using the product.